"Now the old folks used to pray to Lugh in toimes of trouble, when food was scarce or illness struck.
Dey drew on his strength to get t'rough dese difficult toimes. Instead of building a place of worship
as we do now, dey would use caves and raise a shroine to Lugh inside dem. They called these Lugh holes."
Gary looked at the three fairies momentarily, their gazes seemed transfixed on Seamus' face, waiting for
him to carry on the story.
"But slowly these caves came to be neglected and the people started to forget about Lugh. Toimes were
good and dey had no need for prayin'. The shrines became dusty and cobwebbed, the pictures painted on
the walls faded.
"Then one terrible year the harvest failed and a harsh winter came. Food was scarce and the pain of hunger
gnawed at the bellies of even the richest family. People's thoughts began to turn to their god once again.
But it had been so long. They could hardly remember the customs.
"They prayed in their home, pleading to Lugh for help. But it was no use. Women watched as their children
got sick through lack of nourishment. Then one day from out of nowhere there arrived an old man. Wizened
and grey, he nevertheless walked upright through the streets calling to all that could to follow him. A
crowd gathered behind him and it grew as he walked on, leading them out into the countryside until they
came to a cave.
" 'You need to clean the shroines,' said the man. 'Lugh cannot hear your prayers. He needs his Lugh Holes
cleaning out.' "
With that, Gary spat out a bit of the Guinness that he was drinking and the three fairies looked at each
other in turn, before laughing out loud at the sudden realisation that Seamus really was spinning a yarn.
Then Walter strolled back in with a swagger that Gary had not seen in weeks.
"Fellers," he said. "I'm back! Tulip, give us a kiss." He grabbed her gently by the arm and pulled her
towards him, kissing her with apparent passion and then holding her by the waist to keep her close. The
other two fairies looked momentarily disappointed, then turned their attentions back to Seamus. Gary
sighed an all too familiar sigh.
Some time later, the magnificent six arrived at the Three Toadstool Hostelry which was had been carved out
of a huge treestump many years before. The place was run by the legendary Dave the Magic Barman, a fellow
renowned for his legendary lock ins and ever bendable ear.
"WALTERRRRRRRRRRR!!!" Dave boomed as the group stumbled through the door. "Long time no see, mate! How've
you been? Here, let me fix you a special while you introduce me to your chums. Gary I know, watcha Gary,
you finally got him out then did you?"
"It was Seamus did that as it happened Dave," answered Gary. "This is Seamus, Walter's cousin from over the
water. Seamus, meet Dave the Magic Barman:
Whenever you are feeling down, forlorn or a little blue,
Come see Magic Dave, he will tell you what to do.
He serves the greatest beer in town. There's darts and pool as well.
The duke box still costs 20 pence and plays Bat Out Of Hell.
When it comes to closing time, Dave rings his little bell.
Everyone ignores it and Dave says 'ah, what the hell?' "
Gary had made the rhyme up himself and this was the first time anyone had heard it. Every one looked at him
in astonishment, used to him being the quiet one.
"Did you write that Gary?" said Walter.
"Yeh," had nothing better to do lately what with you not coming out.
"That's pretty good, mate," Walter congratulated him. "Has it got a tune?"
"Nah, not yet," admitted Gary.
"That was really good, Gary," said Rosie, suddenly turning her body from Seamus so that she faced Gary.
"Ah, nah it's just a laugh, really, nothing special," Gary blushed a little and was unable to look her in the
eye.
"No really, Gary. I really liked it," continued Rosie. "Maybe you could write one for me some time?"
"A ha, um, yeh, really?" said Gary and at last he managed to look up from his shoes to catch her smiling
beautifully at him. Gary smiled a shy smile back and felt a shiver of pleasure go up his back.
"Go and sit yourselves round a table, folks, I'll bring your drinks over," said Dave. Walter went and stood
in front of the duke box while the other five sat themselves around a big oak table. Rosie sat close to Gary,
her thigh touching against his under the table and making his pulse race. She nudged him a little and gave
him another smile as the drinks came over. Then Walter joined them as Fields of Athenry rang from the duke
box speakers in honour of Seamus and St Patrick.
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