It was about an hour before Gary came down from Cloud 9. When he eventually did so, a sudden realisation
hit him. He was going to have to actually make the phone call. On St Patrick's night he had managed to relax
with Rosie. The beer, the music and Walter's antics had taken his mind off the very worrying fact that he
had no idea how to interact with women. Now in the cold light of day he was going to have to pick up the
phone and start a conversation. Fear cut through him like an icy cold wind, making him shake. What should
he say? How should he say it? How the hell was he going to get the phone down from where it was attached
to the wall way beyond his reach?
Eventually, Gary managed to stop himself from spiralling down to complete inaction and decided to pay me a
visit. About an hour later, I heard a faint knock on the door of my flat. Hoping it might be a nice juicy
Jehovah's Witness, I went to investigate. I opened the door to find nobody there. I was about to close it
again in a grumpy manner when Gary called from below.
"Hey!" He shouted. I looked down and noticed the little feller by my feet.
"Gary! All right? You know Walter's gone off to Ireland with Seamus early this morning, right? He might
not be back for some time."
"Yeh. I know. I know. Actually, I was wondering if you could do me a favour."
"Do you a favour? Of course my little friend. You are almost a member of my thumb sized family after all.
What is it?"
"I need to use your phone."
"Why? What is it? Nobody been hurt I hope."
"Aaah, no. Nothing like that. I just wanted to call a girl." Gary mumbled the last sentence so quietly that
he was inaudible.
"What did you say?" I questioned him.
"I said I want to call a girl," Gary repeated himself, this time a little louder.
"A girl!! Gary, you dark horse! Why didn't you say so sooner? When did this happen? Do you love her?"
"Yes, I think I ..... What? No, it's nothing like that. We only just met last night. She gave me her number
and told me to call."
"Heeeeey! Nice one Gazza! What are you waiting for?" I took the phone from my desk and placed it down on
the floor next to Gary and lifted the receiver off for him. "I'll go in the kitchen. Give you a bit of
"Cheers, Pete," said Gary. I made my way into the kitchen and closed the door just enough so that Gary could
feel a sense of privacy and yet I could still hear absolutely everything that he was saying. His heart was
beating like a bongo and his mouth was dry. Once again he was shaking with trepidation. He crouched down
and put his face in his hands. He remained like that for a couple of minutes then suddenly sprang up.
"Come on!" He said to himself. "Do NOT let this slip by you!" He pulled the paper from his shirt pocket
and unfolded it then began to press the keys with his hand. After a few seconds, the sound of the ringing
tone brought the fear back to him once more. "Oh my God. OH MY GOD!" He thought inside his head as it
rang 5, 6, then 7 times. Gary was about to resign himself to nobody answering when the ringing stopped
and he heard a sweet voice that soothed his turmoil.
"Hello?" Rosie said.
"Umm ... er ... Hey babe, how you doin'?" Gary replied, making a total hash of the line he had been
planning on the way over to my flat.
"Gary!" Rosie said with obvious delight in her voice. "Why are you talking like that?"
"What? Oh, erm ..... ha ha .... don't know really. I suppose I was just trying to be like Walter. He's
always been a big hit with the ladies."
"Gary!" Rosie said again, this time with a little chastisement in her tone. "If I had wanted to go out
with Walter or Joey from Friends, then I would have given my number to them, wouldn't I?"
"I guess so ...." Rosie's calm and beautifully feminine voice was making Gary feel more relaxed with
"I'm so glad you called me, Gary. Is there anything you'd like to ask me?"
"Um... how are you?"
"I think you already asked me that Joey, oops, I mean Gary. I am fine thank you for asking.
I was thinking maybe you might want to ask me something else. I am really busy tomorrow, but
I am free on Thursday night."
"Oh!" Gary suddenly realised where Rosie was leading him in her wonderfully gentle manner.
"Err.... would you like to go out with me on Thursday night?"
"I'd love to! Where would you like to meet me?"
"Errm ... how about 8 o'clock at Magic Dave's place?" It was the only place that Gary could think of.
If he was being honest, it was the only place he ever went.
"I love Magic Dave's. See you then, honey." With that, Rosie was gone.
Gary stood still and silent for a moment. He was in shock. He had thought of a thousand things that could
go wrong with the phone call. Yet it had gone so right. "She called me 'Honey'," he thought to himself with
a sense of wonder. I came quickly back into the room.
"Any luck?" I said, knowing very well what had happened. Gary said nothing but simply raised his hands in
the air in triumph and started to jump for joy around my feet. It was infectious and I soon joined him.
We jumped and danced without any music except that which was playing in our heads until eventually we
collapsed on the floor, the laughter of elation pouring out of us both.
Although each tale stands on it own, Elf Tales is a series of stories best read from the beginning so that you get to know the colourful characters. To read more in the series, click here.
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