First and foremost, please do your best not to put yourself down, either when speaking or writing to others, or when talking to yourself inside your head.
Whatever mistakes you think you may have made in your life, you remain a beautiful and worthy human being. We all
make mistakes. Rather than beating ourselves up about them, we can learn from them so that we do not make them again
in future. That is the purpose of all suffering in life, to lead you back to the love and happiness that is your birthright.
Here is what you need to do:-
End your affair. If someone says they are falling in love with you after such a short time, they are showing signs of
neediness, and a relationship with them will ultimately be unfulfilling and probably destructive too. Just end it.
Say you made a mistake. Apologise. Then finish. You cannot possibly form any kind of healthy relationship from
the position you are in at the moment.
You need to leave your husband or ask him to leave. While he stays with you he will never resolve any of the issues that he has which make
him behave in the destructie manner you describe. While he stays with you, you will never be able to heal either. You both have a chance of a happy rest of your lives.
You are still fairly young. If you stay together, you will both be empty inside for your whole lives. Such a waste. Get out.
Real love begins with loving yourself. To learn to love yourself again, you need to be single again for a
substantial amount of time. No husband. No other feller either. Just you and your children. So that you can
remember your true value as a mother and even more importantly, as a woman. It is what you deserve.
As I said at the beginning, people make mistakes. Sometimes big ones. Mistakes are to be learnt from. Making the same mistake over and
over and not learning from it, if you continue to do that then you will face a heavy regret.
You can decide to make a better life for everyone now. It will take strength and courage. I know you have
those inside you. You just need to make the right choice and set everyone free.
Good luck and love to you,
<< Back to Jane's letter
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