Dear Happy Cow
For many years me and my partner have wanted to have children. We have been trying for over 8 years now without any success. We took the decision early on not to have IVF. I really didn't fancy that kind of medical intervention and John supported me. Our thinking was that if we were blessed enough to have a baby that would be wonderful and if not then so be it. We are well aware that we have a lovely life and a great relationship. But as I come to terms with not being able to have a child of my own, I am finding it very difficult to be around my friends who have just had a baby or are pregnant. I find myself bursting into tears in this combination of being extremely happy for them and sad for myself. It doesn't last long as I manage to pull myself around but it doesn't feel good. My first thought when I hear the news that a friend is having a baby is "I better stay away because it might be too upsetting." I guess it is just painful at the moment.
I have talked with John about adopting or fostering a child but he has strong misgivings about this. I guess Happy Cow I just have not come to terms with this part of my life. I am struggling to find a way and could do with a push towards the light.
Cheers for listening.
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