Dear Happy Cow

For many years me and my partner have wanted to have children. We have been trying for over 8 years now without any success. We took the decision early on not to have IVF. I really didn't fancy that kind of medical intervention and John supported me. Our thinking was that if we were blessed enough to have a baby that would be wonderful and if not then so be it. We are well aware that we have a lovely life and a great relationship. But as I come to terms with not being able to have a child of my own, I am finding it very difficult to be around my friends who have just had a baby or are pregnant. I find myself bursting into tears in this combination of being extremely happy for them and sad for myself. It doesn't last long as I manage to pull myself around but it doesn't feel good. My first thought when I hear the news that a friend is having a baby is "I better stay away because it might be too upsetting." I guess it is just painful at the moment.

I have talked with John about adopting or fostering a child but he has strong misgivings about this. I guess Happy Cow I just have not come to terms with this part of my life. I am struggling to find a way and could do with a push towards the light.

Cheers for listening.

Rebecca, Plymouth

Read Happy Cow's reply >>

If you are in need of some advice and think Happy Cow may be able to help, please e-mail her at: advice@happycow.org.uk.

Join the Happy Cow Facebook Group!

[Unfortunately, JS-Kit Comments have moved onto pastures new and can no longer supply us with their rather brilliant comments widget. Ah, well! Maybe one day another splendid and free widget will wander this way. Until then, please feel free to shout at us by clicking the 'Contact Us' button above.]