You are very perceptive near the end of you mail. But perhaps you are not aware of the many different ways you can fall in love.
Which is the person and body who is most dear to you, most close, most intimate? Before you start looking around or thinking of your children or other family, have you forgotten anyone?
Your answer absolutely is to fall in love! Fall in love again with your own body. Where you are is where you are. You must not condemn yourself or feel guilty about it. You must not think that you have done something wrong or bad.
You have just forgotten to love that body. Perhaps you have been too busy sending your love elsewhere. You need to start a love affair with your own body again. How are you going to treat your lover? I am sure that you know without any advice what is healthy for your body, how you can show your body love. Just think about that. This is the part of Existence with which you are closest and most intimate. You may say you love others. You may say you love nature, the bird song, the flowers. But this astonishing, magnificent gift that has been given to you. Which keeps you alive without you ever having to think about it, which works 24 hours a day on your behalf. Tirelessly it works for you, turning oxygen and food into flesh and bone and blood and synapses, maintaining the right temperature, fighting off illness, working so hard for you all the time, it loves you so dearly.
How are you going to love this body? How are you going to show your gratitude? By feeding it foods that you know are toxic? By not allowing it the wonderful freedom of daily movement?
Love is the answer to all problems, this one too. Yes. You have to start loving your body again. You have to start treating it with kindness. Not forcing anything. No stupid fad diets. No intense exercise that hurts.
But kindly, gently. You know you can make changes and you must accept total responsibility for how you treat this wonderful machine. If you had a beautiful car or a wonderful house, would you neglect those? Would you keep filling them full of rubbish? Are you going to put Diesel in a petrol engine?
This is your biological vehicle, your biological home. Love it. Cherish it. Give back some of the devotion it has given to you for so many years without ever asking for anything in return.
Kindness, gentleness, relaxation, movement, natural foods, healthy foods, whole foods. Gentle exercise every day. Your body loves to move. Remember being a child. Then there was no such thing as 'exercise'. You just moved every day because to move is like a physical prayer, it is a wonderful way of getting in touch with Existence, provided you don't force, provided it is not a chore.
When you eat, slow down. Allow extra time for it. Chew food fully. Be present. Be aware. Remember what it is like to REALLY taste and smell wonderful nutritious meals. Be totally alive to the scents and the tastes. That too can be like a prayer or communion. It is like the Christian transubstantiation almost. This food is literally going to become your flesh and your blood. Do you ever think about that? Your body is made of food. The food you put into your mouth is going to become you.
Try to become much more aware when you are eating. Think about what you are doing. Do it with full attention. Do it with love. Think about the miracle of nature that turns this food into a living, breathing, thinking and loving human being. Even if you feed it rubbish, still the miracle happens. The body has to work much harder but still the body performs the miracle without complaint. Perhaps you could give your incredibly faithful servant a little break and begin to supply it with only the highest quality raw materials.
I do not bring you miracle cures or any easy route. Without any blame or guilt, take responsibility now. Right now. Take responsibility for loving yourself and your body. It is what you both deserve.
Which do you love most? The chocolate or your wonderful biological home that nature has gifted you without asking anything in return? Which do you love most? It is up to you. Just a little more awareness and a change will happen without any need for force or following unnatural regimes. Just a little more awareness when you are putting things in your mouth. Just a little more allowing your body daily movement. Just a little more kindness. Just a little more love.
Fare well and much love to you,
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