Dear Wild Flower
Thank you for your very deep and thoughtful questions. Your analogy of the meadow is almost as close as you are going to get to understanding this paradox in your mind. It is not really something that can be understood with the human mind which functions by separating things. To know without any doubt your connection to rest of life, you have to feel it. When you feel the connection, you experience love. That is why it is easier to feel love in the presence of people with whom you are obviously connected, such as your children or other close family. That is why you are likely to feel love for anyone with whom you regularly connect physically in intimate embraces. Some (unrelated) people you encounter in life may enable you to feel this connection more than others. That is the reason why you find them more attractive. We often say phrases like 'I really connected with him' without realising the deep truth we are pointing to when saying it. You are connected to everything in the entire universe. The more you can feel this connection, the more love you will feel.
The human mind is always engaged in disconnecting and categorising things. Good or bad. Worthy or unworthy. Big or small. Fat or thin. Beautiful or ugly. Human or animal. Us or them. Me or others. Attractive or unattractive. This is useful to some extent when you are trying to complete tasks which require things to be categorised. But it is totally unnecessary most of the time. You don't need a reason to feel your connection. You can just feel it. You don't need to say 'I am attracted to him or her because ...' You just feel attracted. You don't need to say 'that music is beautiful because ....' It just feels beautiful. You don't need to say 'the view from this mountain top is wonderful because ....' Viewing it just feels wonderful. When you think less and feel more, you will be more able to feel your connection with everything. You will be more able to feel love.
Imagine you are a writer who is writing a marvellous first-person story. The story has a beginning a middle and an end. You get so engrossed in the story that you are writing that for a while you lose all sense of the time and space in which you are writing and become completely identified with the main character. You think that you are the main character. You forget that you are the writer. You forget that you have written many other unique and equally brilliant stories. You forget that if you don't like the way the story is going, you can write it differently. Then one day you realise that the story is coming to an end. You have become so identified with the main character that you are terrified. You think that you are going to cease to exist. Then as the last full stop is typed, you snap out of this illusion and remember that you are the writer and all is well.
The 'you' that you want so much to hang onto is just a story. It is a unique and brilliant story and one that you can and should enjoy for all its uniqueness, but it is not who you are. That particular story began at the main character's birth and it will end at the main character's death. That is inevitable and it is a very scary thought for anyone who does not understand that they are not the main character in the story, they are the writer.
As the writer you can celebrate with passion the fascinating uniqueness that the main character and any other characters in this particular story may portray. You can be very proud of this particular story and love the characters you create. But you also understand that it is just one of many stories that you have also written. They are all unique. They are all brilliant. Yet they are all part of you. Every character you encounter is a reflection of part of yourself.
It is the temporary but complete identification with the main character in one story that causes suffering. You forget that as the writer, you can change that character any time you want to be whoever you want. You can change the direction the story is taking whenever you want. You do not have to fear the story's end because as one story ends, many others are just beginning.
The writer never stops writing. You are the writer.
At the beginning of your letter you said 'I am very happy as I am and I do not need to embrace that philosophy'. I am very pleased to hear that you are very happy and if you do not need to embrace this philosophy, then don't!
Much love to you,
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