The Happy Cow Horoscope (by Pete Hughes and Happy Cow)
Today I was paying a visit to the social network Facebook, when I was informed by the very helpful electronic stalker that one of my fabulous friends had just read their horoscope. As my friend is the same star sign as I am, I glanced at the short reading which was displayed on the stalking report. It went as follows:-
"Be discreet and don't present your ideas until you`re certain that they're foolproof. Take time to explain your intentions to loved ones. Problems with financial investments could make you nervous. Be careful when dealing with female members of your family.
"Your lucky day this week will be Friday."
I was thoroughly shocked by this astonishingly bad piece of advice. I remarked to my friend that it might as well have said:
"Today you should live your life like a great big cowardy custard because everyone and everything is out to GET YOU!!!"
I told the above tale to Happy Cow, and together we decided we should come up with our very own Happy Cow Horoscope, which we hope will help readers navigate their way through life's ups and downs with confident mastery. Click on the links below to reveal our advice for your particular star sign.
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ARIES (21 March-20 April)
Today you can do whatever you want to do. Be whoever you want to be. Think whatever you want to think and feel whatever you want to feel. Today and every day you can write your own story. Make it a beautiful masterpiece! It is up to you to decide how today is going to go. Approach it with wild love and bold courage and you cannot lose. You cannot fail. You are invincible. Have you been vinced so far? I thought not. Make your own wonderful choices. Love. Laugh. Live. Be magnificent! You are and always will be FREE. Enjoy!
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TAURUS (21 April-21 May)
Today you can do whatever you want to do. Be whoever you want to be. Think whatever you want to think and feel whatever you want to feel. Today and every day you can write your own story. Make it a beautiful masterpiece! It is up to you to decide how today is going to go. Approach it with wild love and bold courage and you cannot lose. You cannot fail. You are invincible. Have you been vinced so far? I thought not. Make your own wonderful choices. Love. Laugh. Live. Be magnificent! You are and always will be FREE. Enjoy!
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GEMINI (22 May-21 June)
Today you can do whatever you want to do. Be whoever you want to be. Think whatever you want to think and feel whatever you want to feel. Today and every day you can write your own story. Make it a beautiful masterpiece! It is up to you to decide how today is going to go. Approach it with wild love and bold courage and you cannot lose. You cannot fail. You are invincible. Have you been vinced so far? I thought not. Make your own wonderful choices. Love. Laugh. Live. Be magnificent! You are and always will be FREE. Enjoy!
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CANCER (22 June-22 July)
Today you can do whatever you want to do. Be whoever you want to be. Think whatever you want to think and feel whatever you want to feel. Today and every day you can write your own story. Make it a beautiful masterpiece! It is up to you to decide how today is going to go. Approach it with wild love and bold courage and you cannot lose. You cannot fail. You are invincible. Have you been vinced so far? I thought not. Make your own wonderful choices. Love. Laugh. Live. Be magnificent! You are and always will be FREE. Enjoy!
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LEO (23 July-22 August)
Today you can do whatever you want to do. Be whoever you want to be. Think whatever you want to think and feel whatever you want to feel. Today and every day you can write your own story. Make it a beautiful masterpiece! It is up to you to decide how today is going to go. Approach it with wild love and bold courage and you cannot lose. You cannot fail. You are invincible. Have you been vinced so far? I thought not. Make your own wonderful choices. Love. Laugh. Live. Be magnificent! You are and always will be FREE. Enjoy!
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VIRGO (23 August-21 September)
Today you can do whatever you want to do. Be whoever you want to be. Think whatever you want to think and feel whatever you want to feel. Today and every day you can write your own story. Make it a beautiful masterpiece! It is up to you to decide how today is going to go. Approach it with wild love and bold courage and you cannot lose. You cannot fail. You are invincible. Have you been vinced so far? I thought not. Make your own wonderful choices. Love. Laugh. Live. Be magnificent! You are and always will be FREE. Enjoy!
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LIBRA (22 September-22 October)
Today you can do whatever you want to do. Be whoever you want to be. Think whatever you want to think and feel whatever you want to feel. Today and every day you can write your own story. Make it a beautiful masterpiece! It is up to you to decide how today is going to go. Approach it with wild love and bold courage and you cannot lose. You cannot fail. You are invincible. Have you been vinced so far? I thought not. Make your own wonderful choices. Love. Laugh. Live. Be magnificent! You are and always will be FREE. Enjoy!
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SCORPIO (23 October-21 November)
Today you can do whatever you want to do. Be whoever you want to be. Think whatever you want to think and feel whatever you want to feel. Today and every day you can write your own story. Make it a beautiful masterpiece! It is up to you to decide how today is going to go. Approach it with wild love and bold courage and you cannot lose. You cannot fail. You are invincible. Have you been vinced so far? I thought not. Make your own wonderful choices. Love. Laugh. Live. Be magnificent! You are and always will be FREE. Enjoy!
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SAGITTARIUS (22 November-21 December)
Today you can do whatever you want to do. Be whoever you want to be. Think whatever you want to think and feel whatever you want to feel. Today and every day you can write your own story. Make it a beautiful masterpiece! It is up to you to decide how today is going to go. Approach it with wild love and bold courage and you cannot lose. You cannot fail. You are invincible. Have you been vinced so far? I thought not. Make your own wonderful choices. Love. Laugh. Live. Be magnificent! You are and always will be FREE. Enjoy!
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CAPRICORN (22 December-20 January)
Today you can do whatever you want to do. Be whoever you want to be. Think whatever you want to think and feel whatever you want to feel. Today and every day you can write your own story. Make it a beautiful masterpiece! It is up to you to decide how today is going to go. Approach it with wild love and bold courage and you cannot lose. You cannot fail. You are invincible. Have you been vinced so far? I thought not. Make your own wonderful choices. Love. Laugh. Live. Be magnificent! You are and always will be FREE. Enjoy!
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AQUARIUS (21 January-19 February)
Today you can do whatever you want to do. Be whoever you want to be. Think whatever you want to think and feel whatever you want to feel. Today and every day you can write your own story. Make it a beautiful masterpiece! It is up to you to decide how today is going to go. Approach it with wild love and bold courage and you cannot lose. You cannot fail. You are invincible. Have you been vinced so far? I thought not. Make your own wonderful choices. Love. Laugh. Live. Be magnificent! You are and always will be FREE. Enjoy!
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PISCES (20 February-20 March)
Today you should do whatever you want to do. Be whoever you want to be. Think whatever you want to think and feel whatever you want to feel. Today and every day you can write your own story. Make it a beautiful masterpiece! It is up to you to decide how today is going to go. Approach it with wild love and bold courage and you cannot lose. You cannot fail. You are invincible. Have you been vinced so far? I thought not. Make your own wonderful choices. Love. Laugh. Live. Be magnificent! You are and always will be FREE. Enjoy!
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