The Fall and Rise of Jesus Perrin (by Pete Hughes)

There once was a feller called Jesus,
Who was fed up with being The Christ.
He fancied a bit of debauchery
And maybe a daring jewel heist.

Instead he was destined to wander around
Preaching nonsense to gullible flocks
In a pair of uncomfortable sandles
Minus the shorts and the socks.

It was all very well knowing Ultimate Truth.
He enjoyed the attention at first
And thought he was doing some good in the world
By quenching their spiritual thirst.

But the buggers kept coming and coming
And none of them understood
That sometimes he just wanted some beers with the lads
Or an exciting shag in the wood.

Finally he couldn't take any more
So fake his own death's what he did.
He would have gotten away with it too,
Were it not for those meddling kids.